Another FPS in the making?

I dunno what's up with all the elite engineering junta of the IIT's. First it was Chetan Bhagat with his five point some one and now an another IITian Tushar Raheja is out with his book on the love story of an IITian.


After reading the review of the book in 'The Hindu' I was looking forward to devour this one too. But this review by Rashmi Bansal kinda killed my interest in reading this book. With all the IIT junta leaping on to the writing bandwagon I think apna MGIT also has far more interesting stories on campus which can be made into a book. The lecturers; the pricipals; ragging,parties, canteen,The retreat,Nirvana,Musings,sem exams,internals,labs...gosh I already feel like I''m ready to write a book.

The publishers have got their pricing right. At 100 bucks a self confessed bookie like me is not going to feel guity picking up a copy.

Wish me happy reading.

Blu-Ray vs. HD-DVD

Well, as far as HD DVD vs. Blu-ray goes, it looks like we've pretty much passed the point of no return now; with each passing day it seems less and less likely that a compromise will be reached on a next-gen format. The current battle between these electronic biggies reminds me of the VHS vs. Beta battles.

Both Blu-Ray and HD-DVD discs enable HDTV reproduction because of their massive storage capacities. Using dual-layer techniques, HD-DVD can store as much as 30 gigabytes of data while a Blu-Ray disc can pack in a whopping 50 gigabytes.The format war brewing between new Blu-Ray and HD-DVD discs does present an age-old problem that evokes the VHS vs. Beta fiasco of the 1980s.Still, the nature of the next-generation rollout itself may force consumers to take sides early.



Because of the vastly different physical attributes of Blu-Ray and HD-DVD discs, it's cost-prohibitive for manufacturers to produce next-generation players that can handle both Blu-Ray and HD-DVD formats in one machine. So manufacturers have lined up on opposite sides of the fence, ready to produce players that only work with one or the other format. That could spell consumer confusion as buyers fear picking the wrong one and ending up with an obsolete player and content library.
On the Blu-Ray side is a large group of manufacturers, including Dell, Hewlett Packard, Hitachi, LG Electronics, Mitsubishi Electric, Panasonic (Matsushita Electric), Pioneer, Royal Philips Electronics, Samsung Electronics, Sharp, Sony, TDK and Thomson.The main backer of the HD-DVD format is Toshiba, NEC and Sanyo.

This is turning out to be one interesting battle, but finally consumers will decide which format will succeed.

Hairy Tales

Never in my wildest CS did I ever imagine that my hair would become such a concern for so many people at the same time.

Well it began like this...

Our dear college had announced the semester hols for two months. I'm this lazy guy who never bothers to hava proper haircut on time. So I let it grow : no-holds-barred. Well my GRE exam popped up in the middle so I had to go in for a trim cos I no where resembled the glum guy in the passport. I dint want to miss my exam due to lack of admissible proof of identity. I let the barber work his magic on me and viola! within a few hours I was back to my passport hairstyle days. GRE' I blew it! so I was least bothered after the exam as to how my hair grew(and my hair grows pretty fast or must say too fast)

Fast forward to Delhi. I'm cooly relaxed in my home watchin apna favourite Balakrishna's movie. Bell rings. I open the door and find my mom's so called socialite friends. They are getting bored gosssiping so have dropped in here. They lay eyes on me and a smirk comes upon their faces. They head to talk directly to my mom...meanwhile the cable has gone out and i'm fidgeting with the wire. The ladies see me and ask my mom..."Never seen that cable repair guy in the appartments; who is he?"....I was shocked. How could they mistake me for a cable repair guy?
I'm too shocked to say anything and leave my home in a hurry; and make it to the terrace to cool my senses.
After sometime I spy the ladies leaving in their bigass car and I quickly return home. Bala Krishna's movies are so much fun to watch. They seem to defy all the logis of physics,biology and fiction. (where else do you see a guy who can move a train backwards with a single movement with his finger....got the movie?)

I have to carry the laundry to the dhobhi before i can switch on the TV again. The damn lift is some where at the top floor and it's a big pain in the a$$ to carry that huge bundle (of my clothes) on my tender shoulders and go all the way to the dhobi's den. I feel like i'm Atlas carrying the load of the world.
I reach the ground floor and an old lady spots me and says, " hey dobhiwala...humare kapde laya?" WTF. If it had not been for the lady age god knows what I would have done. I walk up calmly to her and say, " Maaji mein koi dhobi wala nahi hoon. Mein 2nd floor pein rehta hoon aur chuttiyon ke liye aaya hoon." lady says," galti ho gayee. Lekin vesh-busha(appearance) sey toh dobhi hi lagte ho. Maine socha tha shayad kaam pey naye aye ho!" I'm flabbergasted but move on. Mission accomplished i deliver the goods at the location and rush back home for Balaiah's movie. Now our new servant had come. She was just one week into employment. She asks my mom," aunty jhi bhaiyya Hyd mein kya karte hain? " My mom in her casual tone says 'mechanical engineering'. The maid to show off her extra intelligence says, "oh! gaddiya aur pani key motor teek karthe hain. Humure ghar pey motor ka problem hai. Kya bhaiyya repair kar sakthe hain?" My mom is unable to hold her laughter and I'm about to blow my fuse. Luckily Bala Krishna came to my aid with his superman antics.

I'm seriously watchin the movie ROTFL...when my mom comes and switches off the TV. This happens when she has some earth shattering news to deliver. She says, " Ippudu vachina ma friends adugutunnaru neeku any mental problem vunda?"
Holy cow! me and a psychotic? That's a tag i've never got. I ask her the reason for their comments. She says that my long tress of hair combined with my rugged look and sudden abrupt exit from home. Man-o-man...ladies read so much into hairstyles.
I said, "Naa bochu naa istam. Vaal ke yenti problem?". My mom gives a long lecture on hair;grooming so on and so forth. And her punchline," Hair proper ga ley pothe neeku yevaru pillani ivvaru!". I was dumbstruck. But I couldn't miss Bala Krishna's movie at any cost so I tell her we will talk about this latter and switch on the Idiot box again. Balakrishna's wig is so craftily placed...I imagine myself with a wig...egad!


Movie over...I start hunting for my I-pod but cant find it anywhere. Mom dangles the earphones in front of me and asks it that was what I was looking for. She candidly says," Either you let me set your hair or mister you can forget your pod." Reluctantly I agreed. I hate it when anyone meddles with my hair; but no other go. She starts....

First she gets hairpins. Ya hair pins. And struck them tightly in my hair. It was a strange experience. I felt like my flow of creativity was being stemmed. I protested; but to no avail. Next applies some oil I dunno the brand but it had a horrid oil smell. Then next she let it stay for a few hours and the washed it away (while all this was being done I was happily playing NFS). Infact i felt like I was in a beauty parlour. The oil seems to have had no effect my hair is still standing erect all spikes. My mom doesn't give up so easily. So this time a spl ayurvedic oil. This one smells even worse. I begin to act as if i'm falling ill. But no use she presists. She washes off da oil after some time again. This time the she places clips tightly into my hair. And tells me to let it stay.

Meanwhile I had to go down and collect something from the driver Sukhwinder Singh. And I forgot to put on my cap. So all these hairpins were shining in their pristine glory. Sukh sees me and his initial reaction- ROTFL! He says,"oye! saab jhi Delhi mein bahut ajeeb hairstlyle dekhe par aap jaisa koi nahi. Tum Hyd waale great ho. Hume bhi yeh naya style sikha dho mere baal bhi mudthe nahi." I realised that I had forgotten to put my cap on. The watchman also saw me and startted laughing. I hurried left after collecting what I had come to collect. I waiting for the lift to open. It finally arrived and OMG five beautiful girls stepped out at once. They all started giggling seeing the clips in my hair. I was in the dumps. I just dashed up the stairs with the girls laughing wildly in the background. This hair thing would surely make me the laughing stock in the entire appartment. I finally got rid of them after a few hours...hey my hair had bent like crops in a feild which are trampled by a tractor. My mom was impressed by the results and applied something else. I was becoming a guinea pig. My dad was a chemical engineer, seems like some of his scientific traits had rubbed on to my mom. Finally it was all over. By the end of it I had neatly bent hair and was looking cheerful.

Evening I went down to the groundfloor to check my mailbox. I collected the mail and was about to go away when some one tapped slightly on my shoulder. It was an old man now. He said," Post man das din sey mein tumko doondhn raha hoon. Meri ek important chitti due hai. leekar aaye ho kya?" Not again.....................

Delhi Diary

1. Delhi is so much over populated with big cars (the sedan types) that it's easier to reach a place by walk than in an automobile.

2. The moment you leave from your house (be it anywhere in Delhi) a traffic jam is waiting for you just 5 minutes away. Once you get struck in a jam...take a short nap...after some time the person behind will honk and wake you up.

3. Delhi females are so environment friendly...the more hotter it becomes...the lesser they wear.

4.Damn the cost of living is so high here. A simple masala dosa in a decent tiffin center costs 70 bucks...for this rate i could have easily gobbled down four in apna hyd.

5.These people seem to have a strange aversion to southies. You can feel it in their attitude towards you.

6.You gotta learn how to bargain. Be it Palika bazaar or Sarojini market, things always come at 40 percent of the initial price.

7. Try not to meddle with a Sardar. You'll repent later.

8. People here are not bothered about their neighbours. It's like each man for himself.

9. I find more females driving cars than males amd they are very careful drivers.

10. People are highly fashion conscious and are ready to ape all the latest trends and fads.

11. This being the seat of power nothing ever gets done in government offices unless you are ready to shell out the dough.

12. The roads are neat, the lawns green and the air is pure need i say more.

13. The flyover at AIIMS is an engineering marvel. I've never seen such a structure which disperses traffic so well.

14. The underground metro railway rocks. It's on par with world class trains.

15. This place is so damn friggin hot that I tend to sweat even while having a bath. (shower mein shower.) So the only solution: have a bath with a bucket of water which has been chilled in the fridge (my mom doesn't agree)

16. The 'iyo' word is used so much here. like in a shop you gotta ask "choclate dijiyo" or "pani layio". Hope i dont carry on the same habbit to Hyderabad. Apna shopkeepers...u know..

17. The toddlers here are so intelligent. They talk abt football and Paris Hilton!

18. There are some 25 news channels which are telecast here! Every third channel is a news channel. And each channel has a new breaking news every one minute.

19. All the temples here are run and managed by Tamilians.

20. I don't understand how the people here are able to survive on a diet consisting only of roti and daal!

Ronaldo Rebounds

Ronaldo, criticized by teammates and the media after Brazil's opening two games at soccer's World Cup, rebounded to tie the record of 14 career goals at the tournament. The 29-year-old striker, the top scorer at the 2002 World Cup, scored two goals yesterday in Brazil's 4-1 victory over Japan to match the tally of Germany's Gerd Mueller.

Criticized by teammates including Kaka for his lack of movement against Croatia and Australia, Ronaldo headed Brazil's first goal against Japan in the 45th minute and lashed in the fourth from 20 yards with nine minutes remaining. He was named man of the match. He is steadily showing signs of his past form. Relief for all the Brazil fans...The things are just getting started...you seen nothing yet!

Reinstated

My first piece of writing on my blog was an article which I had compiled for my college magazine Musings. It was an article about Rang De Basanthi which was the flavour of the season then. I summed up my feelings and experiences and left the topic open to debate. Well, as usual no one checked it and that topic faded into the archives until today. Today morning I get an offline from a dynamic person, Deepak Marla who has a different perspective on the same issue. He points out certain flaws in my assumptions and plugs in his points. This is going to be one interesting discussion. Watch the thread for more.

Ronaldo : Over The Hill ?

He's fat, he's round, he's worth....well, not in the best of shape and form. Yes, Ronaldo is struggling.He's overweight, at odds with fans, he lacks confidence and most worrying of all for his managers at Real Madrid and Brazil, looks to have lost his hunger for the game. The man who was the greatest striker in the world for the best part of a decade is now a lumbering shadow of his former self. The youngster who electrified Barcelona with his pace and dribbles in 1996 and 1997 and who bounced back from a career-threatening injury to record almost a goal a game with Real in the two years following the 2002 World Cup was gone. The 29-year old striker has been three time World Player of the Year. This could be a big World Cup for Ronaldo. Ronaldo has twice had serious knee injuries that have sidelined him for several months at a time. In the 1998 World Cup, Ronaldo had unexplained convulsions in the hours leading up to the final. He played poorly, and Brazil lost 3-0 to host France. Ronaldo was with Brazil when it won the title in 1994 and 2002, and he could join Pele as the only player on three World Cup-winning squads. Pele played on Brazil's teams in 1958, 1962 and 1970. Ronaldo also is only three goals shy of becoming the tournament's all-time leading scorer. He has 12, tied with Pele. Ronaldo has had an eventful life, full of upheaval for someone who does not turn 30 until September. It is clear that Ronaldo's personal life has a marked affect on his performance. The more settled he is in his private life, the easier it seems to be for him to concentrate on his game.

Ronaldo had a bad build-up to the World Cup: more than two months injured at Real Madrid, then blisters on his feet and a fever in the preparation stages; and, of course, constant comments about his weight. Yet because of all he has achieved with the national team, the press and public still considered him an untouchable member of the team till the world cup kicked off.



Ronaldo's performance in Brazil's opening game in this World Cup was certainly not whatI was expecting. It was very strange. Without doubt, he is not in very good physical condition, although everyone knew before the game that he would probably not play the entire 90 minutes. Ronaldo had a dismal performance in Brazil's 1-0 win over Croatia and the team admitted his physical condition was a factor. Ronaldo arrived for Brazil's training camp overweight, but doctors had said he would be ready for the start. Brazil's physical trainer said Ronaldo was not far from his ideal form, despite the striker's laboured performance in the team's opening World Cup game. That was borne out by his slow movement and the fact that he is finding turning and twisting very difficult. The Brazilian nation and the camp itself will be worried because Ronaldo is a talismanic figure to this team.

His lack of mobility and poor ball control combined with an eqaully non existing strike rate were the reasons that Brazil were unable to break down Croatia.Possibly the most disappointing aspect of Brazil's opening match against Croatia was the sight of Ronaldo waddling around the pitch looking unwilling or unable to break into anything approaching a sprint. Brazil were slow and ponderous. When Brazil attacked he was useless. The magic square became a triangle.
When Robinho replaced Ronaldoin the 69th minute, the contrast up front was obvious. Brazil finally started to play with 11 men. But the two men are very different types of player. Robinho is very light, very fast, and a different type of striker. Regardless, not having Ronaldo in top form will be a concern for the Brazilian camp because he is genuinely loved by his team-mates and they want him on the pitch in what could be his last World Cup.

Besides the worry of Ronaldo, the wider picture is that the team did not live up to global expectations in the first game, and those expectations are very, very high. Almost too much is expected of Ronaldinho, Cafu and Roberto Carlos, Adriano and Ze Roberto. Brazil are hot favourites to lift the trophy in Berlin on July 9, many of their top players are going through bad patches and they can't afford to be firing at less than full strength. In addition to Ronaldo's loss of form, Adriano has failed to find the net consistently, Roberto Carlos has come under fire at Real, and keeper Dida has made a number of costly mistakes for AC Milan. Cafu is out injured, Kaka is not turning it on with the same regularity as last year and Robinho is spending much of his time on the bench. We now expect brilliance of them, as a team, every time they take to the pitch.

I expect Ronaldinho to emerge as the player of this World Cup. He was fantastic against Croatia, but to reach the level of a Pele or a Maradona, he will need to show more. Ronaldinho not to think too much about his football. He should just play with his soul. If Ronaldinho thinks about what he is doing, he will not be the Ronaldinho we know. He should just feel free, feel the space around him and, if he does so, Brazil will fly.

The Brazilian press have been reporting that Ronaldo's team-mates have long been worried about the striker's poor pace. Ronaldo is diffuse, irritated and without focus in this World Cup. But still the team thinks he is a man who overcomes obstacles and, like the fans, will be hoping for a miraculous recovery of his fitness, mental state and technique. Ronaldo's importance is not doubted. If Brazil are to win the World Cup at all, it will depend on Ronaldo. If he improves physically and technically, the chances are good. If he doesn't it will be very difficult. They will have to depend on goals by Kaka and Ronaldinho.

Ronaldo is hardly worth his place going by his current form. But he needs to be on the field and playing through his poor phase. The problem is Ronaldo doesn't have the appetite for it. If he is to bounce back like he did in 2002 after years ruined by injury - and there is no reason he cannot - he needs to focus. He needs to want to prove his critics wrong. He needs a hunger. If he has that hunger the pounds will fall off and the glory days will return.

One day @ the Hospital

I have this great aversion for hospitals from time immemorial. I simply can't stand the smell of the place. And when a ocassion to visit the hospital comes up I always try to avoid it (by pretending to be healthy) But luck was not in my favour this time.

On the night of the day before yesterday I slept peacefully after reading Michael Crichton's Andromeda Strain (courtesy, one Mr. 'C'Rakesh). I had this weird nightmare with viruses running riot in my body and me zapping their bioplasmic asses with my cybermagneto gun etc... so i woke up slightly before my usual time (4 hrs before schedule, usual time is 12 noon)... I had this tired and worn out look on my face (ever had a dream that felt so real that you were unable to know what was real and what was fiction?) Naturally my folks were surprised and asked me the reason. I faked saying that I was not feeling well (so that they would let me sleep again {once I wake up I'm not allowed to sleep again; how cruel is that?}). That was my first big mistake.
Next dad asked me; what my problem was? I did the Sharukh Khan act from Kal Ho Naa Ho...clutching my chest I said..." I feel like a 10,000 tonne load has been placedf here. It's paining like hell." Generally my dad can see through all my natak and generally lets me go; but today things were different. He immediately called up a doctor friend of his , Sharma Ji (he has a
beautiful daughter ;-) ) , I was hoping mebbe he could fix up a home consultation, ek theer se dho nishan...but as bad luck would have it Sharma Ji had already left to hospital so I had to also go there.

My driver the happy surd Sukhwinder Singh is an another speciality. I hop into the back seat and say," Sardaar Ji, Radio Mirchi lagao aur SR Bhartia chalo doctor saab sey milna hai." I dont pay any attention to the route he is taking cos I'm lost in thought,visualising the beautiful face of the RJ whos is crooning on the radio. Now Sukhwinder drives the Tata Indica like it's a Ferrari. And Delhi roads are so bad that you cant move from one intersection of the road to another without any halt. A traffic jam every 10 minutes. So when ever an empty tract of road appears Sukh acclerates like its a formula 1 track. This actully made me sick. Finally after many such short bursts of speed he comes to an halt and proudly announces, " yeh lo ji aa gaya apka SR Bhatia." It took me some time to collect all my reflexes and move out of the car. When I looked up it was indeed SR Bhartia but the SR Bhatia law consultants not the hospital. I ask Sukhh," Sardar Ji yeh to SR Bhatia ka hospital nahi hai, kahan lee aaye aap? " he says," oye! aap ne toh nahi bataya ki apko hospital jaana hai." WTF{where else do you find doctors?}
(it's no use arguing with him) So i say," chaliye ab ise to dekh liya hospital ki bhi ek jahlak dikha dejiye."

The engine roars to life again. I'm cautious this time and see the route he is taking. But i shift to the front seat this time and due to our hyderabadi habbits dont strap on my seat belt. At a traffic intersection a cop stops our car. Amazing vision he has got. Out of all the maze of cars he stops only ours and says...chalo fine nikalo 300 rupiye; seat belt nahi lagaya...blistering barnacles 300 bucks? I'm already broke man(courtesy three movies at PVR in a single day: read previous posts)...I was thinking of asking," Sir Jee credit card chalega?" Good thing I didnot ask. Delhi cops tend to get pissed off easily.

Sukh takes over masterfully. He gets out of the car. He is a more than a 6 footer (I'm surprised at how he managed to cram his big bhari shareer inside a tiny indica; a sumo is right for him). He's towering over the cop. The cop looks intimidated. I expected a verbal duel of sorts but nothing distinctly resembling that happened. Sukh to the cop, " Sir Jee hume urgently hospital ko jaana hai. Humare saab ke bete ko appendicitis hua hai aur turanth hospital mein operation karana hai. Dard badtha hi jaa raha hai. Paate mein bahut dard hai isliye seat belt nahi lagaya. Hospital toh agle hi lane mein hai isliye jaldi mein seat belt lagan bhool gaye. Plz jaane do."
I was staring open mouthed. Unable to believe what i was listening. The cop looked at me and I immediately put up a look of deep anguish and pain and used 2-3 angrezi scentences (another factor you have to know when dealing with Delhi cops.) I even acted as if i was about to get out of the car and show my poor, fragile and worsening condition to the cop. The cop stopped me and gave green signal to proceed. From the looks he was giving me I knew that he had fallen for it hook, line and sinker.

Sukh shifts to top gear. It is Alonso this time. And we are at the main gate of the hospital in no time. I'm a bit dazed by the time I step out of the car. Thank God Indica has these large seats over which u can slide your ass to get out (doesn't require much effort)

@ The Hospital:

Oh Man! The first thing that caught my attention was the long queue at the reception counter. There were two counters and one of them was excessively crowded (courtesy the hot chick who was the receptionist) These people sure do know how to stay in ahead the business! I wanted to be out of this place ASAP. A small whiff of the hospital wind was enough to give me the creeps. Nice thing I choose to pay with the credit card. The Q was small and people were moving quickly. I was plugged into my I-Pod and wearing this Eminem tee, people were giving me strange glances as if I was a misfit in an hospital environment. An old woman was pointing me to her hubby and saying something as soon as i flashed a an angry stare as if to say 'my attire my choice, balls to u' she turned away abruptly. The receptionist told me that Dr.Sharma of general medicine was on rounds and told me to wait in his chamber; and Rs 500 for consultation. This is day light robbery. WhoTF takes 500 bucks for consultation? Anyhow I couldn't protest. After making a bill she gives me directions to his room.

Now this hospital is a huge one. It is like a maze. She told me to take the third left in the second lane of the first floor. How confusing is that ? So like always I mess up my directions (my friends can guarantee you that.) I landed in an another part of the hospital which had the name plate of Dr.Sharma placed on the receptionist's desk. Many sombre looking couples are seated and I appear on the scene like a rap artist. I look so misfit in the place; like a Hanuman mandir pujari in a Disco. I look at the name plate Dr. Sharma and conmort myself that I'm in the right palce. I sat down sedately. People are giving me curious glances. I pretend to flip through a medical magazine but am involved in my all time favorite time pass activity: people watching. One thing that struck me was why are there only couples here? and all of them holding each others hands.
My Muse: Well Delhiwallas are strange; they always bring their couples for support.
I sit for half an hour observing people. I stand up impatiently and go to the receptionist. I ask is Dr.Sharma in? The receptionist gives me a queer glance and asks me, "Sir ur name plz? and do u have an appointment?" I say, ya I do have one why hasn't he called for me yet? She takes the appointment paper from me and bursts out laughing. Look here Mr. Sid, this appointment is for Dr.Sharma of general medicine. I say, yes it is. But Sir this is Dr.Sharma who is a sexologist. I was shell shocked. Now every one in the room was in splits. I was too ashamed. I pretend to act naturally and like Mr.Cool put on my best manners and thanked the receptionist plugged in the i-pod and took directions from the attender to reach the general medicine ward. While stuffing the tip in his pocket he says," Wahi sab mein toh apko dekh kar soch raha tha madam ji kahan hai?" Before I can make mincemeat out of his ass he escapes.

I confidently walk up to the receptionist and ask her, if Dr. Sharma of general medicine is in his chamber. She said, he on his rounds Sir please wait in his chamber. I enter his room. I was awestruck by the magnificence. This room could put the chamber of the CEO of a MNC to shame. The room was so cool that I laid my head on the table nd immediately fell asleep. It was 20 mins that I had gone into slumber when I found water being splashed on to my face and many frenzied voices around. I was dazed and for a second unable to understand. I came to my senses gradually and found myself facing a stern Dr.Sharma.What actually had happened was that I had gone into a deep sleep by the time Dr.Sharma had entered the room so he thought
I had fainted! Immediately called up his assistant on the intercom and meanwhile splashed water on me! He was worried cos earlier in the day my dad had told me i was complaining of chest pain and stomach pain. So he thought mebbe I had a stroke! And stomach pain? I dont remeber saying that. The doc made that up himself.He wrote down a battery of tests to be done on me. I felt like a bali-ka-bakra being marched off to the altar.

First was the blood sample test. The nurse who was doing it was a sweetie. On spotting the injection I started getting jitters. I insisted on seeing a new syringe and needle. She made a dirty face but eventually showed me the box,serial number, expiry date ....(customer is GOD) Then she calmly inserted the thing into my left arm. A shot of pain ran through my hand. On seeing the thick red blood flowing into the tube i was about to faint. She drew the blood quickly and patched up the wound with a swab of cotton even before you could say viola. Blood sampling over next was ultrasound. Ultrasound was hell. First i had to drink 3 litres of water. 3 litres? I loked at the doc stupidly. He was firm and said that the test would begin as soon as i had emptied the 3 litre bottles into my mouth. I tell u it was hell. Keep pouring water,water morewater. Finally i could drink no more. So i secretly emptied water into a plant. When doc came he was surprised that i had finished so fast. I told him, i was a good drinker. The ultrasound was a breeze. I just lay on the bed and let the scanner run over me. All my internal organs were appering on screen. Things u normally dont get to see with your naked eyes. It was
amazing to see my heart alive and kicking. So i had an heart afterall; some one had told me that I was heartless and cold. Well,to me all my organs seemed to be in perfect harmony but I'm no expert to study all the images but all them seemed to be in the perfect shapes and sizes that I had seen in my biology textbooks in school. Immediately after the test I rushed to...you know where!

The next test was endoscopy. The doc thought that because I had complained of stomach ache mebbe there was a soft ulcer in my stomach so endoscopy. I dint know what they would do in this test. As usual I was asked to lie on a bed. Next a cute nurse came up to me and told me to open my mouth. I was getting some awkward thoughts. But i repented latter for opening my
mouth. No sooner had i opened it she plugged a pipe into it. I was caught off gaurd and started choking. The doc told me that a pipe would be run into my stomch via the esophagus and they would see if any ulcer was present. I had a strange feeling like i was kidnapped by aliens and they were experimenting on my body. Doc told me to hold still while he ran the pipe. Now this
pipe also has a miniature camera fixed to it. I was seeing the exploded color view of my own body on the screen with others people also looking at it! Due to my position i could not glance properly at the screen. The doc seemed bored to death (mebbe it was the thousandth time he was doing the same thing.) After taking pictures he removed the pipe from my mouth. I felt a
sigh of relief as the muscles started contracting again. I heaved a sigh of relief. I was unable to speak for a few minutes. I felt i had lost my mellifluous voice for ever and was even planning to sue the hospital for negligence,but it was back to normal in a few minutes.

The next test was ECG or Electro Cardio Gram; a measure of heart beat. I again lay on a bed and let the assistant do the work.He applied gel on the parts where he attached rubber baloons (that's wat i call them) on the gel. Not that i have an affinity towards the same sex but when he was attaching the ballons i was gettting tickled. I supressed my laughter. I was on the verge
of exploding if i controlled my self any more. The scan statrted. Due to my controlled laughter the heart beat was so high the guy lookedat me as if i were about to go off like a bomb. He told me to relax and adjusted one of the ballons. I felt tickled again and laughed. This time also the heart beat was high. The guy scratched his head and called his superior; a female doc. The
heart beat broke all bounds on seeing her and started madly racing like the sensex graph. She took my hand into hers and told me to relax. relax? With my hand in clutched in hers? Still no use. Next she called the nurse. The nurse was a Rakshasai.Immediately my heart beat went zero! All the 3 people there were shocked. They thought I had passed out. Gradually once
my heart had stedied itself they took the readings and let me go. The assistant was commenting to the doc that he had never seen a crazy case like me before.

The last test of for the day was the Tread Mill test. I was strapped up in all wires and made to walk on a board or treadmill and all my vital parameters would be measured. I began slowly and started running fast. I felt like i was on a football feild and was about to score the winning goal for my team when suddenly the doc told me, That's it you may go now. I dint want to. This thing was fun. He made me leave forcibily with the help of his assistants.

I assembled in Sharma Ji's room for his final interpretation of the results. He was not there but his cute daughter was! I chatted gaily with her on many topics except for the reason why I had come here. Image ka sawaal tha. Sharma Ji came too soon (damn!). He put his toothy smile and told me that my reports were on the way.Meanwhile he switched on the radio(delhites are addicted to radio)The song playing was 'Kal Ho Na Ho' (how apt). I made a sad face.

They arrived. I created a scene saying that I wanted him to discuss my reports in person and not in his daughters presence; I put up one hell of a performance. He agreed and told his daughter to buzz off. She made a ugly face at me and left. Balls to your stares, was reply to her.

The first repot was the blood report. He put on his reading specs and made a serious face and
said a small hmm. So all was ok in my blood. The next was the ultrasound. He said another hmmm,so all my organs were ok. Next the ECG. He commented that I had a missed beat somewhere but that was ok. Next the treadmill repot also got an another hmmm. The last report the endoscopy brought out a big hmmmmmmmmm. So there was a problem.

He asked me my hobbies and interests. Next if i had any addictions. I din't know where he was getting to. I was getting tensed with each passing minute. He took my blood pressure now. As expected it was high. Then he gave out a big laugh and said. Aap ke sharir mein koi problem nahi hai. Aap 100 perc fit ho. WTF $%^!@#$&&. As if I dont know. His only comment was that if I had felt any pain in my chest it was due to acidity caused by the spicy stuff we south indians ate. He told me to go easy on the spices. Thats it? A simple suggestion after a battery of tests. He signed on the report and told me to pay the bill in thecounter.

I was feeling on top of the world. So I was 100 perc fine and all my organs were in the right place. I approached thecash counter and asked for my bill. I just gave it a glance...I collapsed!

Upright Videos: Vijayakanth - The real buffoon of Tamil film Industry

Upright Videos: Vijayakanth - The real buffoon of Tamil film Industry

Life's a game of NFS

The only thing that i find solace in doing in these sem hols are, playing on the comp all day long. Currently I'm hooked to "Need for Speed : Most Wanted". It's an amazing game. Graphically, the game looks great, overall. The game engine rocks and the AI is awesome. In short a very engaging game. Today when i was playing one one the races, i was loosing continually. Now that's something which doesn't happen very often. I lost ten times in a row! I was fed up and wanted to give up the race altogether. But the gamer inside kept nagging me...just one more time. I gave it a shot one more time...and i won. What had I done differently now, that I had not done earlier? Due to the repeated string of failures in a row, i knew where i was going wrong. Taking a turn I must not; acclerating when I must be slowing down, careless use of the nitro boost etc. During the eleventh attempt I applied the collective knowledge of all my failures and I won. Game over.



But it had stirred something deep within me. Something which I had felt from a long time. Life's like a game of Need For Speed. You mave have the right car and the best availible gear but small mistakes cost you the race. Always keep your eyes open to the oppurtunities that are being presented to you. If you yearn for a life less ordinary; play for the stakes. But always be calculated in your approach. When facing stiff competetion always try to emerge the leader of the pack. If the opponents are trying to tide over you kick their ass. You have to be at the right place, at the right time doing the right thing. Luck is the marriage of preperation with chance.

We learn best when we are willing students. We don’t always know when we are right in the middle of a life lesson. It is only later with time and hindsight do we realize what we learned.We are creatures that constantly change. We acquire knowledge and information as we go along. We really can’t help it. We don’t always evolve. We gather information and don’t use it wisely.Mistakes sure are the stepping stones to success.

"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from." --Al Franken, Oh, the Things I Know, 2002

I my self had made so many mistakes all my life but have made a point never to repeat the same mistake twice.

"We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dear-brought experience." --George Washington, First president of US





P.S. : I never thought a comp. game could make me think so much!

The Musings Journey : Part 1

For the mango people out there M'06 may be just a college mag but for me it's an entire semester of hard work fused together with kick-ass determination and the many creative ideas. Before I take you on a tour of my M’06 experiences, a small blast from the past.

When I was in my 1st year it was announced in our class that the college magazine ‘musings’ would be making a few additions to the design and editorial boards. Bitten by the designing bug my best pal (then) and me came up with some mind blowing (according to us) designs for the cover (little did we know that the cover is the most disputed part of the magazine) in guess what? Good old Microsoft power point...together we made up 8 to 10 slides regarding our understanding of a college magazine. We approached Mr. Mahesh Kumar our dynamic English Sir and shocked him with our designs (slides)...he dint comment…he said, "hmmm Mr. Dora and Mr. Reddy you certainly have talent. Designing is not my department...but please do drop in next Friday and present your ideas to the design team." both of us left discussing excitedly about our future as designers of the coll mag. (1st year mein hi designers...mast mama). Our class members were very supportive (they were ignorant cos we dint show them our designs saying it was still in the nascent development stage).

A girl from our class (I dint know her properly then) Kalpana (she was the GR) also approached Mr. Mahesh for a vacancy on the editorial board. I dint know her properly then, but from my observation of her hyper active participation in all the in-class activities I was sure she had more brighter prospects that us nerds. (More about her experience can be told by her only. I'm not authorized)

Friday came...a beaming Mr. Dora and a somber Mr. Reddy entered Mahesh Kumar's den. Inside there were fours guys and a female. The four guys were -> Varun Adib, Sashi Kanth, Ravi Shankar, Sundeep Victor (minus his now legendary long locks), Nisha Slyvania. All of them gave us queer glances as if we were little green men from mars. Mr. Mahesh Kumar gave our intros and said that we were interested in joining the college mag design team. More queer glances. I thought these people were alarmed at the immediate threat to their positions on the board (my immature thinking) because two of us had dropped in unexpectedly. I was already beaming as if I had claimed the prize. We marched to the comp lab to show them our futuristic designs. Meanwhile Sundeep Victor took us zara bagal mein and said "kyon rey 1st year mein hi editorial board zaroori hai kya? Full thope aah?"

We switched on the comp...floppy (we were still in pre-historic times) insert kiya…what the...'floppy ud gaya' (it was unable to withstand our floppy-blowing designs). Luckily Mr. Reddy (smart guy) had a backup copy. We started on the power point presentation. It was a small presentation of 9 slides five by me and the rest by Reddy. The atmosphere was tense...everyone watched nonplussed...the presentation was over. I was brimming with expectation and was all ready to hear the happy news (secretly I was hoping my designs would be selected over Reddy's). What happened next is etched in my mind forever. All of the members broke into a big laugh. We dint know where to hide our faces.

Varun Adib was the one to speak. He said guys you done a pretty amateurish job. This is a college mag for heavens sake not a school souvenir (actually we hadn’t seen a copy of musings till then). Power point slides will get you nowhere. Grow up guys embrace photo shop. They handed us a copy of musings2003 (one of my prized possessions even today). After glance at the cover of the magazine I thought "kitne gehre paani mein hai rey tu...chal aram sey khisak ley beedu.." There was a postive fallout of this meeting. Nisha mam liked the mascot(according to her) i had managed to sneak up in one of the slides. we wished all of them a good day and ran out at break neck speed to the gents waiting rooom(our favourite corner in coll) and once we were there, looked at each other and burst out laughing. Mr.Reddy was disheartened and decided never to try his hand at designing again.

I saw the positives and once i was back home i started meddling with photoshop. man it was very complex. i started looking for other avenues to break into the team (dunno why i felt as if the mag was mine for the taking..i felt it was calling out to me {i'm hallucinating here} ).

unable to hold back the angst in my pangst i went knocking at Mr. Mahesh Kumar's door again. He had encouraging words for me. He said "Mr. Dora you can be the kingpin of this entire college without moving an inch,sitting grounded in your classroom. Engineering must bring out the best in you. This is the time you have to grow and diversify. Reach out. the first requsite for you to be on the board is enthusiasm which i see you have in plenty. next is which area do you want to work in. designing may not be your forte why dont you try for the editing department you seem to have some pretty good reading and writing skills.you hold a lot of promise." i noded in silent agreement(secretly blushing). he continued.."next year i'll see to it personally that you are will make it to the board but by that time be mentally prepared to face the challenges head on. The magazine making process is not a smooth sailing(kahani jho dhikti hai wo waise hai nahi). (how true he was!)

unfortunately for me and for the entire college Mr.Mahesh Kumar met with a tragic accident and with him my dreams of making to the board also crashed. but he had given most important thing of all, an inspration. Ms.Savathri was appointed as our new english faculty. i soon made an excellent impression upon her( i heard from the grapevine that she would be in charge of the future editions of musings). I knew for sure that i would be in the board next year default. I wanted that 'okka' chance badly.

Musings2004 was released with much pomp and grandeur during the nirvana valedictory function. i was also in the crowd cramming my neck to catch a glimpse of the cover. wat did i see ? a guy sitting benetath a tree in the musings pose(chin up supported by the arm and staring aimlessely into the air)...was it newton in his famous moment or a guy desperately needing a piss, was my first thought. It was supposed to be a famous painting by a russian painter. The image on the coverpage was a highly docterd one to suit aesthetic tastes. i flipped eagerly through the magazine...all the articles were of high standard but i felt something amiss. All the writings were by the editorial board. where were the contributions of the aam MGIT junta? A college magazine sans contributions from its collegians. I wanted to ask the ed-board members this question but all of sudden the entire ed-board (except a lone survivor) of musings2004 opted out future editions for reasons unknown.Ravi Shankar was the only guy left behind from the team of musings2004. He took the challenge of building the team head on. I never knew Ravi in the first place i just had a rough idea that he was one of them.

On a fine summer morn he dropped into our class and called Kalpana out. I was too busy sleeping in class to be bothered to glance in their direction. Latter in the day KK comes up to me and says in her usual style, “hey! You know what? I’m a part of musings 2005….” I was too dazed to reply. After the usual congratulations and stuff, she asked me why I dint want to be on the board? I said I dint know that they were recruiting for the mag. (poor information network). Now KK believes in the equal opportunity for all…next day immediately dashes off to the English dept. to put forward my name. I’m already there in conference with Savithri mam asking for openings in the mag. She promptly says, “I was surprised you dint turn up the other day.” Holy cow! Well now you are on it. Holy cow again!

Next day as I was entering college I felt my left eye twitching…I was thinking aaj kya hoga? Just then KK appears as if out of thin air and says we are going out on campaigning for the mag so class bunk maro. And she pointed me to a lean, hairy creature in the distance and said he is Ravi Shankar the chief thope of the musings 2005 board. He turned towards us and flashed his 1000 watts smile (the kind that would make 100 guys jump off the B -Block) at KK. The moment he laid his eyes on me I could detect scorn, contempt, hate, disbelief,…..one could read so things in his ek nazar. So he had heard the news of a new keeda in the group. He told me (rather bluntly) I don’t want extra members on the board; I already have my hands full. Everyone is dropping as if it this is some marriage party and thinking musings is your ticket to fame. Musings is a college magazine not some friggin two page tabloid. He gave a long prep talk extolling about creativity, content blah, blah.

What was going on in my mind? : Saala aise bole raha hai jaise iska mama ka magazine hai aur apne hi paise sey publish karta hai. Dekh le beta tu bahut pachteyega. Balls to your prep talk.

The campaigning began. It was fun to watch the different speakers (KK, Akshay, Anisha, Varsha) speak so highly of the mag. Yours faithfully was just a by-stander, Observing the junta’s reactions on the timely intervention and the dismal look on the lecturers face when he spotted us near the door. The board minus me had already decided on content for the poster which was to be put up everywhere in college. I was not involved in any way with the poster. KK did a pretty good job. If you read the poster you would be sure to comment it is so ‘kalish’. And another major handicap I faced was that all the musings brain storming sessions were taking place via net and yahoo msgr. I was staying in the coll. hostel…no net(you don’t get net connection in a jungle unless it is America)…no info…net result…I dint know what was happening where. I was just a part for namesake. This led to my further going down in Ravi Shankar’s nazar. But I had one resource which he didn’t. MY NETWORK. The all pervading and ever present. He dint know its reach and capability. I would soon show him my resourcefulness.

In between we had one-of-the-many brainstorming sessions I put forward about 10 suggestions via mail…but during the meet someone else took credit for all the points. I dint care as much then but Ravi again started fingering me saying that I had made no value additions to the group. My inclusion was not justified. WTF! But I dint make my opinions public. The hairy creature was very intimidating and I was just a junior. So I thought lite liyo. Slowly a deluge of articles started flowing in. we had great fun in picking the good ones and evaluating the rejected ones. MGIT sure did have some Pulitzer winning authors in the making.

I learnt a lot of new things while working on musings2005. How to transfer files over networks-administrator passwords-rock music-metallica- football- photoshop and pagemaker- content generation- how to screw someone’s happiness- make new pals- use people- manage faculty- screw internals and externals- make best possible use of juniors- learn how to make proper mistakes- and the best of all à how to tolerate the hairy freak {HF} !

Things were smooth sailing on my side. Many of the HF’s out of campus meets did not materialize (good for me or I had to travel for such long distances}. Due to the musings work we were unable to participate in the freshers party for our dear juniors. And in the midst of all this commotion Mr. Ray left for a long tour of Calcutta and HF lifted off for an industrial (fun) tour of God’s own country. Only me, K K and Ramnath remained. Aks, Anisha and Varsha were involved with the Nirvana work. Ramanth could not bunk classes, our dear dept. is like that. You miss classes your ass is screwed big time and that too you miss classes of a particular MIT educated lecturer your course is doomed. Ram had no other go. So it finally was up to us both 2^nd years to finish the task at hand. If the HF had a bit of forethought we would not have faced such a crisis. K K is so committed to the work that I was feeling ashamed. She used to painstakingly type out all the articles in her quota-read-review-correct-re type...whew! (one good job the HF had done by selecting her.) I was the lazy guy. All the typing work assigned to me…ahem I got it done…courtesy my juniors…and the HF was lambasting me for this! In between the results for our 2-1 came out. They were utterly horrible. I wanted to give up musings altogeather. But commonsense prevailed and academics took a backseat. Balls to acads.

When he heard that the work was moving at a snail’s pace HF, hurled abuses over the phone (from Kerla); would you believe? He dint know what was happening here. The staff was always summoning me for explanations on the delay and no-progress status. I was just holding on (my inspiration during this time was a poem called ‘this too shall pass’). The release date was just around the corner. So no lafada’s now. HF came back from Kerla and started working on the mag for non-stop 60 hrs!!! and finally cane out with a design…I was not maha impressed with it initially…all red and yellow…bas coverpage tayaar? You need a HF for a thing like that? Even a person like me, if meddled with photoshop could come up with something on similar lines…but hey he is the head thope…no one gets to ask him rite. But his dedication impressed me. Of course he had to do it, it was his ass on the line.

Meanwhile Raji Reddy sir told us that the cover page had been rejected by an old balding Youngman because the image was not in sync with the image of we were trying to project of our college(in short, the old taklu dint have creativity.) he had suggested his own idea of a coverpage. Ravi is a person who gets annoyed easily. As soon as he herd that t he things were not going according to his way he wanted to resign and handover everything to me (from the frying pan into the fire!)

We finally won a hard fought battle. But our relations with Raji Reddy soured. He and Me had a verbal standoff. Everything seemed jinxed. And we had problems with the placements of ad’s form nirvana sponsors. Ravi took a strong stand saying that no ad’s would be placed and those people were bent upon having them. It was a deadlock and the fest and the release ceremony had to go together. That’s how it has been always. Finally all disputes were settled and the mag was released with due pomp and grandeur on Nirvana day. That night there was a rock show at our college that night. Me and Ravi finally got to talk to each other face to face with some indiscernible long haired junglies playing in the background. Ravi told me he was happy that the mag had finally come out. And that my contribution was so invaluable that, he warned me to stay away from it for the next year…

In GOD's own country

These are some pics from the backwaters of Kerla,where our Vangaurds were holidaying...Again captures by my bro...See Kerla in its pristine beuaty

The Munnar Expedition

My bro a Lieutenant in the Indian Navy made this small expedition to Munnar, a very beautiful place in Kerala. Why did I call this an expedition? Well, my bro is like that...in everything he does he wants perfection. This trip was no different. Everything was pre-planned and was excuted with textbook perfection with no glitches what so ever. The visuals he sent back were so amazing that I couldn't hold back my self....so here they are...Enjay

Godavri : Just Chill

Fanaa gave me a terrible headache. As I was about to leave the multiplex complex at the entrance I came face to face with my bro. he’s surprised to see me cos I had declared that I would not watch a movie till I cracked a particular exam(an impulsive statement.) so he was kinda shocked that I could go back on my word so easily. Movies are my Achilles heel, so can’t help it. He smiled and told me to turn around. I followed meekly. And before I knew it the tickets for the second show of Godavari were in my hands.

I simply loved Sekhar Kammula’s previous movie Anand so the expectations from this one were skyrocketing. And it lived up to it. The theme of the film revolves around a sensible love story. Movies like these make their entry almost unnoticed but make their presence felt gradually because of their originality and brilliance. If watching Anand was pleasurable like drinking a nice hot cup of coffee, watching Godavari is like sipping a soothing cool drink on a breezy beach on a summer evening.

Smoky hillocks, swirling waters and a boat make sure that every scene in Godavari is picture perfect. Cinematography by Vijay C Kumar is excellent. He captured Godavari and Papi Kondalu in a gigantic scale. He also made sure that the visuals are aptly suited to the mood of the film. The scenery doesn't undermine the captivating cinematography rather adds to it. Shot almost entirely on a boat on the meandering Godavari River the movie delves deeper into the human psyche: what kind of a man a self-respecting, independent and nubile woman seeks, why love is such a mushy phenomenon for some and how a man recovers from rejection. It's a little bit like Mills and Boons kind of romance on River Godavari. Add to that an insightful talking dog with a sense of humor and the entertainment is complete. Music by KM Radha Krishnan is very good. The background music is also good. Veturi’s lyrics are extraordinary. I especially like the first song in the movie which is shot entirely in Hyderabad.

This film can be made in any backdrop like a road journey or a foreign trip. But the Godavari backdrop added a whole new perspective to the film and it enhanced the visual splendor. Direction of the film is very good. The main strength of Sekhar Kammula is his sensibility. He made sure that each and every scene is sensible and is done with a logical purpose. His characterization is very strong (with a bit of bias towards heroine character). Screenplay of the film is good. Narration should have been bit faster. Dialogues of the film are perfect. Sekhar is also pretty strong in bringing emotions right. His voice given to the animated dog character is cool and the commentary of the dog is hilarious.

Sumanth is a revelation in this film. His histrionics in Godavari are just perfect. You don’t see Sumanth as an actor, but as a character in Godavari. Sumanth body language and screen presence got perfectly matched with that of Sreeram character. Kamalinee has given another wonderful performance as Seeta in Godavari. Seeta character is all about independent thinking and tremendous inner strength. Kamalinee rocks in this role with her intense yet cool portrayal. She oozes so much of sensuality in the ‘Andamga Lena’ song. No other film has such a strong female character after ‘Anand’ and she is sure to bag another award for her performance in Godavari. Neetu Chandra is awesome in the role of a confused girl who changes her mind in split of second. Kamal Kamaraju is adequate as haughty IPS officer.Emboldened by the scope given by Sekhar Kammula, Sumanth and Kamlini Mukherjee explore their own hidden acting talents via the movie with their natural styles. Sumanth proves that an actor need not have zany good looks, but must have acting talent and a creative director to guide. First half of the film is wonderful. The tempo gets disturbed in the second half of the film with two minor episodes. But director immediately gets back the film on track with a nice explanation. On a whole, Godavari film is another Sekhar Kammula’s film with good sensibilities and emotions. ‘Godavari’ film is as good as ‘Anand’ if not better. You must see this movie, may be more than once. Just go and take a plunge!

Fanaa: whose destruction is it anyway?

After successfully clearing my first movie backlog I just stepped out of the hall refreshed and ready to go undercover to find out how they scored our answer scripts on the JNTU ;-)

As I was passing by the counter selling the tickets Fanaa (matinee show.) My eyes wandered on to a beautiful female…the kind you would find on the cover page of a fashion magazine buying tickets. There was no one in the queue behind her…for the scheming ass that I am I immediately jumped into the formation. The currency in my pockets was just about enough for the second movie. I found solace in the fact that a beautiful female had purchased the coupon before my turn. I was having a woolgather.

Show Time....

Holy cow! Now this PVR is a really huge place (the wonders of modern construction, so much can be crammed in such little space) The ambience was really good and the hall was breathtaking. The ticket indicated that my seat was in the second row from the last, exactly the middle seat of the row (an excellent view vouchsafed). I sat and waited eagerly. The screen came to life with a few instructions about safety, etiquette...blah blah.

From the corner of my eye I spied the female who had brought the ticket before me approaching the seats. Hey! But there was a guy alongside her! footi kismat. They took the two empty seats to my right, the guy held a tray of appetizers gingerly in his hands (poor guys always do the chakri work.) Some public awareness messages were flashing on the screen now. The first was about family planning...both of them gave each other a naughty look and giggled. Ironically the next social message was about AIDS, they fell silent (I was smiling now)

Then came a slew of trailers: MI-3, Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna,Phir Hera Pheri, Kabul Express(yawn,yawn and more yawnnn), it was afternoon and I was sitting after having my lunch if the trailers had been any longer I would have probably dozed off!) The Trailer of Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna was the usual Karan Johar fare: loads of cool locales, happening stars, naach gaana and finally a sob story. Kabul Express trailer was very promising (I’ve bookmarked this film for future viewing)

The film began. As the visuals started unfolding I was awestruck at the excellent photography and cinematography. The locales were awesome. Man, Kashmir is a paradise. Kajol made her appearance on screen. I was mesmerized. Seeing her back on the silver screen after a long time was a treat to watch. Her portrayal of a blind girl was so real that for a few seconds i thought she had really gone blind! She looked very fresh and young. I dunno whether all Kashmiri people always speak through the medium of Shayari's only but the people in this film did (Shayari plays a pivotal role in the 1st half.)

Next scene shifts to Delhi again excellent camera work (10 out of 10) again. Delhi is presented in such a beautiful manner, sans it traffic and noise it looks like the perfect model city it is not. Enter our hero Rehaan, a tourist guide. Aamir Khan spots a different look again for this film (the perfect coquet) His look goes well with the character he is playing. All is well. Kajol and Aamir belt out beautiful shayari's (full credit to Kunal Kohli for the witty lines.) When the shayari's first began I really enjoyed them. Then they started becoming unbearable. The hero and heroine talk only through shayari’s (how dumb is that!) I heard some commotion next to me. I turned and saw what the matter was. The guy was unable to understand any of the shayari’s being belted out by the lead characters in unison and it turned out that he was a Tamil guy and his girlfriend was a Hindi kudi. She was patiently explaining all the lines to him (in English) and he was listening awestruck as if Jack Welch himself had descended to explain the six sigma principle! And he even asked doubts!!

One thing I found despicable in the starting scenes of the film was: there’s a character called Rao who’s supposed to be a Tamilian (I dunno if there are Rao’s in Tamil it’s an Andhra/ Karnataka surname.) This guy Rao is shown in poor light (I hate this regionalism bias) just like Chinese people were portrayed in early English movies as nothings until Bruce Lee changed it all.

Well the story is a breeze. Not much to mention.

Girl meets boy. Falls in love. Few duets latter makes her single status, committed. Boy dies in terrorist attack. Girl gets vision. Boy re-appears. Girl kills boy.

Till the interval it’s a mushy mushy love story with nice lyrics and music. Comedy track is also good. With the interval bang the audience is left asking for more. But sadly the second half is very disappointing and boring. It is very difficult to keep your eyes open. The story looses its narrative in the second half. After the interval a new fresh love story starts. When the story is not moving any forward our director suddenly decides to end it abruptly leaving the audience shell shocked and yawning.

Kajol’s costumes are splendid and Aamir Khan’s metro sexual look, as the new emerging face of terror are cool (he looks so charismatic in suit and boot). The camerawork is so excellent that I forgot it was Poland where the entire shooting had taken place and not Kashmir (I dint know Poland got NDTV 248*7 in Hindi!).The final scene in the movie looks like it’s from the mission Impossible film---Hero and Heroine are facing each other…guns drawn…ready to fire at the drop of a hat… till here it is kinda ok, but apna bollywood takes over now… heroine is crying and hero is smiling…tension is building up…heroine warns hero to stop…hero says balls to u and moves on…heroine fires…hero turns back and falls…hero smiles…he doesn’t fire …he’s happy to die in her hands…story over

I’ve heard of Romantic love stories, Musical love stories and Terrorist love stories, but this one was tad different. It was a terrorist-musical-love story. And I thought love triangles involved only people!

The background score, ahem wailing is a much better word. It’s played so often that by the time you are out of the theatre, every thing you listen to sounds like it!

In Fanaa, if you see it, it doesn’t have any DEFINITE story, it moves to and fro and jumps from one end to other in a blink eye. By the end of the movie I was still confused as to why it was named Fanaa, and that too with the rider destroyed in love. Fanaa means complete destruction, annihilation. Of course there was destruction in the film. Aamir got killed. The leader of the terrorist organist got killed. Rishi Kapoor got killed. Jaspal Bhatti got killed. Satish Shah gets killed. Heads were rolling everywhere. But who was destroyed in love? Was it Kajol in Aamir’s yaad? Or Aamir khan for the love of Kashmir ? Or the audience for 150 minutes of Bheja Fry ? I still am clueless.

Pokiri : Mahesh Babu you have a new fan

Well I was not a fan of Mahesh Babu, till I saw this movie. But I always kinda liked his acting skills and perfect timing. I had previously seen Mahesh’s Murari, Okkadu and Athadu which were top grosser at the B.O. this film is gonna be a bigger hit than any of them. Pokiri showcases his acting skills very well. In my opinion, this was the best ever performance by Mahesh Babu.

And combined with Puri Jaganath’s kick ass direction a film is bound to rock. Pokiri is no exception. Mahesh has a rugged and ruffian look goes very well with the script. Mahesh Babu’s one-liners uttered in Uttarandhra dialect are real fun. The heroine is gorgeous. All the females were screaming when Mahesh made his appearance and the guys when Ileana appeared. The chemistry between them was good. The girl looks fresh and refreshing (sigh! She will also turn out to be a one-film-wonder only…it always happens like that.) Sayaji Shinde steals the show in certain intense moments as a sincere cop. Prakash Raj is entertaining. Jyothirana is good as rowdy seductress.

Well this is a film aimed at the masses, so it has some dialogues directly aimed at the front benchers. A lot has been said about the violence in the film…it was nothing compared to the bloodshed in the faction films we are regularly treated to by a particular family of actors. In fact the action scenes are shot well with much technical expertise. You don’t get to see too much blood being shed on screen. The director achieves the desired effect with the help of sound techniques.

The story is a routine one. An undercover cop with a license to kill. The story revolves around the hero (all Telugu flicks are like this only) our hero smokes, drowns beers, dances around trees and kills (mast life!) His main target a mafia don who is the Godfather of all criminals (sounds familiar eh? All cop stories are the same…this one doesn’t have a flashback…thank gawd!) Pokiri is a screenplay based film with a wafer-thin storyline. Screenplay is commendable. Puri Jagan’s asset has always been his characterization. He gave perfect characterization to Mahesh Babu’s character. He also attacked TV channels and newspapers through Sayaji Shinde in an excellent manner.

Music by Mani Sharma is an asset. His background music is also good. ‘Gala Gala’ song is the highlight. And as is the norm of the day…it also has an item number (watch out bollywood). The film solely rests on Mahesh Babu’s shoulders and he delivers with a bang. He is excellent at playing different roles…at one time he is a vulnerable character and during the next he’s the tough as nails ruffian. He gets into the skin of the character with ease, something which many of our young hotshot actors cannot do. And he must be thankful to his stars that he dint step into the dancing shoes of his legendary pop with equally legendary (bizarre steps)

First half of the film is very entertaining. The tempo has gone down a bit in the second half, but the run up to the climax is good. The plus points of this film are Mahesh Babu’s extraordinary performance and Puri Jaganath’s characterization of hero. The emotions aspect is not properly taken care of. Mahesh Babu’s performance in Pokiri itself is worth your ticket and the rest is bonus!